


Hope in the Darkest Hour

by giantpanda



Series: What if... [11]
Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giantpanda/pseuds/giantpanda
Summary: What if Claire didn’t go home with Kane?
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Series: What if... [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799092
Comments: 34
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter One

The pounding in her head was the first thing that Claire was aware of as she woke up. She slowly opened her eyes and groaned. The last thing she remembered was talking to this guy at the bar and drinking non-stop as she tried to numb herself to her pain and grief. She glanced around the room trying to see if she recognized anything.

Waking up in a strange place with limited memories of how she got there was becoming far too common. The difference this time was that she noticed she was still wearing her clothes from the night before. Normally, she welcomed not knowing what happened, but she was confused about where she was and how she got there. She slowly sat up and closed her eyes against the spinning room.

Once she was sure she wasn’t going to be sick, she climbed out of the bed. She looked around the room hoping for a clue to where she was, but there were no pictures. She assumed she must have been in a guest room. Stalling, so she wouldn’t have to walk out and see where she was, she made the bed. She walked over and slowly opened the door. As she walked down the hallway, she realized that the house she was in was much nicer than where she usually woke up.

Her heart started beating faster as she made her way to what she hopped would be the front door. The best thing would be for her to find her phone, shoes, and purse and get out of here without seeing whoever the house belonged to. She wasn’t sure if it would be more or less awkward than the mornings waking up naked next to someone she didn’t remember.

As she entered the kitchen, she saw someone leaning against the counter drinking coffee and reading a tablet. So much for an easy getaway. She sighed drawing his attention.

“Dr. Melendez?” she asked, confused at how she got to his place. She would’ve remembered if she had seen him at the bar. 

“Good morning,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. The last person she would’ve wanted to see her like this was her boss.

“I’d be impressed if you were. How’s your head?”

She took a step towards the kitchen and looked around. Even with the massive headache and the confusion of how she got here, she was still impressed by his house. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he was as organized at home as he was at the office.

“It’s okay.” She hesitated before asking, “What am I doing here?”

He frowned at her question. “You called me last night when you were at the bar.”

“I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t apologize, I’m glad you did. You were really upset. I couldn’t figure out what happened. Are you okay?”

“Just embarrassed.”

She wished now that she could remember what prompted her to call her boss. She remembered talking to a guy at the bar, remembered noticing his wedding ring reflected in the light. They were doing shots and she thought she had been having fun with him. She thought he would be helpful in helping her forget about her mother. She wondered what happened between that and her calling Neil.

“Don’t be.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, “I do appreciate it.”

“I’m glad you knew you could call me.”

She wished she knew why she ended up calling him or even how he was the person she decided to reach out to. She assumed he must have been the last person that she had spoken with because of work.

“I should go,” she said.

Neil went and filled a glass with water, then he placed it along with some Tylenol in front of her. “Drink this first.”

She took the Tylenol and drank the water, not realizing just how thirsty she was.

“Thank you.”

“You know you can talk to me, Claire.”

“I’m fine,” she said immediately. She felt the familiar pressure in her eyes and knew if she didn’t leave soon he would see her cry.

“You told me about your mother last night.” He leaned against the counter. “Why didn’t you say something before?”

She felt the familiar weight of her grief and failure pressing down against her and she struggled to take a deep breath. She looked around for her phone before seeing it plugged into his charger on the counter. She walked over and unplugged it. Her hands shook as she went to her voicemail. Neil watched her silently. She placed her phone next to him on the counter.

“This is the message Mom left me after Michelle’s surgery.” 

Her mom’s voice filled the room. Claire had listened to the message so many times she had it memorized. She tried to find a clue as to what her mother had been thinking, about what had led her to drink after seeming so happy and proud of her for the first time she could remember.

“After she left this,” her voice trembled. “She decided to drink the one bottle of alcohol that I hadn’t poured out and drove her car into a pole.” She felt the tears in her eyes and tried to quickly wipe them away. “If I had just poured it out, she would be okay.”

“Claire…” Neil said taking a step towards her.

“It’s my fault,” she continued. “I knew better.” Everything she had been keeping inside the past few weeks came pouring out. “I’ve been taking care of her for years, and she was trying to get better, but I messed it up for her. I did that. I was selfish, I wanted to be able to celebrate my first lead surgery, and instead I killed my mother.” She sagged against the counter the weight of her memories crushing her.

Neil came next to her and gently rested his hand against her shoulder as she cried. She tried to get herself together, tried to stop the tears from falling, but the more she tried the harder she sobbed. It was as if the wall she had built to keep the pain away was broken. He hesitantly drew her away from the counter and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her to him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said softly. “You can’t blame yourself.”

She wasn’t sure how long she cried in his arms. She knew she needed to move away from him, that it was bad enough that he had to rescue her from a drunken night at the bar, but she couldn’t move as the tears seemed never ending. Finally, she was able to get herself together and stepped out of his embrace.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, as she wiped at her eyes and turned away from him.

“Please don’t apologize.”

He refilled her glass of water and handed it to her along with some tissues. She glanced down at his shirt and noticed how wet it was with her tears, but he didn’t seem to mind. He motioned for her to walk down towards the sofa. She hesitated a second before following him. They both settled on his sofa.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked softly.

“I told Morgan.”

He gave her a look. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want to burden you.”

He sighed. “Claire, you have people who care about you at the hospital. You’re not alone.”

She took another drink of water. She was so used to dealing with everything on her own, she sometimes forgot that other people want to be there to help. She was still embarrassed that she had not only called her boss when drunk, but also cried all over him.

“I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to someone about this.”

“I’m talking to you.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” She thought about the therapist that she had been seeing with her mother and wondered if she would either be able to see her or get a recommendation. “I will.”

“Your boss might not be the person you want to talk to, but I’m always available for you too.”

“Thank you, I really do appreciate it.” She placed her glass on a coaster on his coffee table. “I really should go.”

“Do you need a ride?”

“You’ve done enough, thank you. I can call an uber.”

“Okay, just text me when you get home.”

She collected her things as she waited for the uber. On the drive home, she called her therapist and made an appointment for the end of her shift the next day. She made sure to text Neil when she got home. She was exhausted but for the first time in weeks she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics mean flashback

Neil read Claire’s text letting him know that she was home and told her to get some rest before putting his phone down on the table. He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. The exhaustion from not sleeping well the previous night mixed with the emotional upheaval of seeing just how distraught and heartbroken Claire was, caught up to him. He thought back to last night when Claire had called him.

_Neil had been nursing a glass of whiskey as he read through the article that Morgan had asked him to proofread. The silence was shattered when his phone rang, startling him. He had been confused to see Claire’s name on the screen. They hadn’t worked together during their shift and both were off the next day. He hesitated before answering. He could hear the loud music in the background and thought that maybe she had called him by mistake._

_He had said her name a few times and was just about to hang up when she said his name. They had worked together for a few years and he felt that he knew her well, and the quiver in her voice worried him. She asked if he could come get her. He couldn’t get her to tell him why she was calling or what was wrong. After a few tries he was able to get her to tell him where she was. He thought that it might be inappropriate for an attending to pick up their resident from a bar, but he would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to her._

_It didn’t take him long to get to the bar and find her. She was standing with a guy who seemed to be trying to convince her to go with him. Even from a distance, he could tell that she had been drinking heavily. He wondered what had caused her to drink so much. As he got closer, he noticed the panic reflected in her eyes as she told the guy no. He moved quickly to get her out of the situation. She seemed startled to see him, as if she hadn’t expected him to show up. That hurt more than he liked._

_He had carefully led her out of the bar and to his car. She stumbled as they walked, and he gently held onto her arm as he helped her into the car._

_“Thank you,” she said as he got into the driver’s seat. “I didn’t think you’d come.”_

_He frowned, as he looked over at her, “I wouldn’t abandoned you when you needed someone.”_

_She gave a tearful laugh at that. “I’ve been by myself my whole life, why should tonight have been any different?” She turned her head at meet his gaze. “No one ever stays,” she said softly, tears filling her eyes. “Jared left, Kayla’s gone, my mother’s gone.”_

_“I’m sorry. You still have people who care about you,” he said softly as he started the car._

_He thought about what she said. He knew that Jared and she had a relationship but hadn’t realized she still missed him. He remembered when she had asked for a few days off to be with her friend Kayla when she passed. He wondered what had happened with her mother. The last thing he had heard was that she was living with her, but that had been weeks ago._

_“Maybe your mother will be back at your apartment soon.”_

_“Considering she’s dead, that would be impossible.”_

_“What?”_

_Shocked he had turned to look at her, but she closed her eyes. He wasn’t sure if she had fallen asleep or if she just didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He couldn’t believe that Claire’s mother had died, and he had no idea. He realized then that he didn’t know where she lived, but he also wouldn’t have felt comfortable leaving her alone in her current state._

_He had brought her back to his place and got her settled into the guest room. He slept poorly as her words about her mother kept repeating in his mind. The pain that he could hear in her voice. He could see now why she had drunk so much, she was trying to burry her pain. He was just glad she had reached out to him before something had happened at the bar that she didn’t want. He wondered what had caused her to call him. Not that it mattered, he was just glad she knew she could._

_After getting little sleep, he had taken a shower, gotten dressed and gone to the kitchen. He had debated on going to check on Claire but felt uncertain about crossing that line when she was already asleep in his guest room. Instead, he made himself some coffee and reached for his tablet to catch up on the news. He noticed Claire’s phone sitting on the counter and plugged in in for her. He had been reading for about forty-five minutes when he heard her sigh. He turned to look at her._

_“Dr. Melendez?”_

_He could hear the confusion in her voice and wondered how much of the previous evening she remembered._

_“Good morning,” he said as he sipped his coffee. “How are you feeling?”_

_“I’m fine,” she answered._

_He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself. He wasn’t used to seeing Claire so unsure of herself. The confident surgeon he was used to seeing was gone._

_“I’d be impressed if you were. How’s your head?”_

_“It’s okay,” she looked around his kitchen. “What am I doing here?”_

_He frowned as he realized she didn’t remember. “You called me last night when you were at the bar.”_

_“I’m so sorry.”_

_“Don’t apologize,” he said shaking his head, grateful that he had been available for her. “I’m glad you did. You were really upset. I couldn’t figure out what happened. Are you okay?”_

_“Just embarrassed.”_

_“Don’t be.”_

_He thought about calling Audrey or anyone else from the hospital who might be better equipped to help her. He figured that he was one of the last people she would want to see her hungover and missing moments from the night before._

_“Thank you,” she said softly, “I do appreciate it.”_

_He thought of her words from the night before about how no one was ever there for her. He always felt that Claire was special, and her compassion was one of the qualities that made her a gifted surgeon. He hated that she didn’t have someone there for her as she always was for her friends and patients._

_“I’m glad you knew you could call me.”_

_“I should go,” she said._

_He went over to the cabinet and grabbed a glass to fill with water. He took some Tylenol as well figuring she would need both after her night out._

_“Drink this first.”_

_He watched as she took the pills and drank all the water._

_“Thank you.”_

_He thought again about what Claire had revealed last night about her mother. He hoped that he would be able to get her to tell him without him bring it up, but he didn’t think that would happen._

_“You know you can talk to me, Claire.”_

_“I’m fine,” she answered quickly, her eyes darting around the room._

_“You told me about your mother last night,” he leaned against the counter. “Why didn’t you say something before?”_

_He watched as a variety of emotions flashed through her eyes. He almost regretted asking her because the last thing he wanted was to cause her more pain. He watched as she went over to where he had plugged up her phone. Her hands shook as she searched for something. He didn’t say a word, afraid that she would go back behind the walls she had built up. She placed her phone next to him on the counter._

_“This is the message Mom left me after Michelle’s surgery.”_

_Her mother’s voice filled the room. He watched her face as he listed to her mother explain how proud she was of her and how she was going to get something to celebrate._

_“After she left this,” her voice trembled. “She decided to drink the one bottle of alcohol that I hadn’t poured out and drove her car into a pole.” She wiped at the tears falling, “If I had just poured it out, she would be okay.”_

_“Claire…” Neil said as he took a step towards her. He didn’t know what to say. He knew that she had a complicated relationship with her mother, but she had to realize that she was sick, and that Claire was not responsible for her actions._

_“It’s my fault. I knew better.” Her voice shook as she continued. “I’ve been taking care of her for years, and she was trying to get better, but I messed it up for her. I did that. I was selfish, I wanted to be able to celebrate my first lead surgery, and instead I killed my mother.”_

_She sagged against the counter as if the weight of what she shared with him was crushing her. He moved next to her, unsure what to do to comfort her. He placed his hand against her shoulder as she cried. It seemed as if the more she wiped away the tears, the harder they fell. He no longer cared about what was appropriate with a resident. She was hurting and he had to do something. He gently pulled her away from the counter and hugged her._

_“It wasn’t your fault,” he said softly. “You can’t blame yourself.”_

_He held her as her body shook with the force of her sobs. He gently rubbed his hand against her back, trying to offer her some for of comfort. He could feel his shirt damp with her tears. He didn’t care. He hated that she had been dealing with all of this by herself and no one else noticed. After some time, she stepped away from him._

_“I’m so sorry,” she said wiping her eyes and turning away from him._

_“Please don’t apologize.”_

_He refilled her glass of water and handed it to her along with some tissues. He motioned for her to come sit down on the sofa. He saw her hesitate before following. They both settled on the sofa._

_“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked softly._

_“I told Morgan.”_

_He tried not to show his annoyance with that. Of all the people at the hospital, Morgan would’ve been the last one he would have thought Claire would confide in._

_“Why didn’t you tell me?”_

_She shrugged. “I didn’t want to burden you.”_

_He sighed. He wished that she could see that she wasn’t a burden, to him or to any of them._

_“Claire, you have people who care about you at the hospital. You’re not alone.” He watched as she drank some more water. He hesitated before saying, “I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to someone about this.”_

_“I’m talking to you.”_

_“That’s not what I meant.”_

_“I know.” She took another drink before saying, “I will.”_

_“Your boss might not be the person you want to talk to, but I’m always available for you too.”_

_“Thank you, I really do appreciate it.” She placed her glass on a coaster on his coffee table. “I really should go.”_

He sighed as he read her text again, hoping that she would reach out if she needed anything. While it bothered him that she was so embarrassed for him to see her upset, he understood. Even if she had reached out to him, he was still her boss. He thought about the way she had broken down in the kitchen after sharing with him how her mother had died. He hated to think how long she had been holding onto that pain all by herself. Even if she had told Morgan, he doubted that Claire would’ve let her see just how badly she was hurting.

Now, he was angry with himself for not seeing that she was hurting so badly. The past few weeks he had been lost in his own grief over losing a patient and the end of his relationship with Audrey. How did he not see that Claire wasn’t doing well? He had not been the best mentor to her that he should be. He also knew that he wasn’t the only one to blame. No one seemed to notice her heartbreak and grief. But if he was honest with himself, he was more upset that he didn’t see it. The two of them had always worked so well together, he hated that he had missed it.

He thought of the way she had cried, all the hurt that she had been bottling up. He wondered how many nights she had gone out seeking a way to be numb. He wondered what made last night so different that she reached out and called him. He worried about what would have happened if he hadn’t answered. He was just relieved that despite everything she had known that she could reach out to him.

He hoped that she would listen to his advice and seek out a therapist. Between the stories she had shared about her childhood and then losing her mother from driving drunk, he couldn’t imagine what she was going through. He had always thought that Claire was special, and he didn’t want this to destroy her.

Trying to push the events from his mind, he decided that he would go for a run and finish the normal errands he tried to accomplish on his rare days off. As he went about his day, his mind kept drifting to Claire and wondered if he should reach out to her. He knew he would see her the next day at work, but still worried.

After the emotional day, he went to bed early. The next morning, he continued his normal routine and then went to work. He glanced over to the lounge as he made his way to his office but saw that none of the residents were there yet. He thought about paging Claire but knew he would see her soon. He settled in at his desk to catch up on emails before they started rounds.

A knock at the door drew his attention away as he was crafting an email to get out of a fundraiser. He looked up grateful for the distraction and saw Claire. He motioned for her to come in.

“Good morning,” she said as she walked to his desk.

“Good morning.”

She handed him a cup of coffee. “Thank you for yesterday.”

“You’re welcome.” He took sip of coffee. “How are you feeling?”

She looked tired but less heartbroken as she had when she had left his house.

“I’m okay. I have an appointment with a therapist after shift.”

“I’m proud of you.” He took another drink of coffee to think about what he wanted to say next. “You’re not alone, Claire. You have a lot of people here at the hospital that you can lean on. You don’t need to always be strong.”

“Thank you.” She gave him a small smile. “I’ll see you at rounds.

As he watched her walk away, he vowed to be a much better mentor and friend than he had been these last few weeks. He wasn’t going to let her deal with her grief alone.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics mean flashbacks

In the six months since she had lost her mother, Claire had gone through a lot. She had dealt with her grief and anger with her mother poorly the first few weeks after she died. After breaking down at Neil’s house, she had slowly been putting herself back together. Between therapy and his support, she was finally starting to feel like herself again. Her therapist diagnosed her with PTSD, which she had fought at first, but as she talked more about what she had gone through as a child and even dealing with her mother as an adult, the diagnosis fit. She no longer felt the need to go out after work to numb herself with strangers and alcohol. 

Neil had been a huge support for her. She had worried that he would think less of her after he had rescued her from the bar that night. Instead, it seemed to have the opposite effect. He never pushed, but he let her know that he was there if she needed someone to talk to. Slowly their relationship evolved into a friendship that she valued. A few months ago, they had begun to go on runs together, which morphed into meeting for breakfast or dinner, as well as late night conversations at work. She felt that they had always worked well together, but this was different. She knew she had his support no matter what.

She couldn’t help but smile when she thought about the first time they had gone on a run together, even though it was unintentional. Her therapist had recommended that she start doing things that she used to enjoy but had neglected after her mother died. She hadn’t been ready to pick her guitar back up at the time, so she decided to focus on running. 

_It had been a few weeks since she had started seeing a therapist and she was finally ready to start running again. She put on her music and started on the familiar path that she used to take before going to work. Unfortunately, her playlist had other ideas and seemed to find every depressing and sad song ever written. At first, she dealt with it, but eventually as she felt her eyes welling with tears, she knew she needed to start skipping songs._

_She slowed down slightly as she continued to find something more fitting for running, but she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. As she turned the corner, she ran into someone. Her first thought was that the person was solid and her second was she hoped not to hurt herself as she started to fall backwards. The person reached out and grabbed her arm preventing her from falling._

_“I am so sorry,” she said, finally looking up surprised to see it was Neil. She had always been aware that he was physically fit but running right into him gave her a new appreciation for his body. She quickly pushed that thought away._

_He kept his hand on her arm as he moved them both off to the side so no one else would run into them._

_“Are you okay?” he asked as he removed his headphones._

_She nodded. “Are you?”_

_“I’m fine.” He glanced down at her phone before looking back up at her. “It’s generally a good idea to watch where you’re going.”_

_She rolled her eyes, “I was trying to find another playlist. Not the best running music.” She held it out for him to take so he could see why she was distracted._

_He took her phone and scrolled through the songs she had been listening to. He frowned. “What kind of playlist is that?”_

_“A depressing one,” she admitted. “My therapist suggested that I start running again.” She took her phone back. “But this was not helping.”_

_“I’m sure it wasn’t.” He hesitated before asking, “Would you like to run together?”_

_She thought about how they were going in opposite directions but thought it would be nice to have some company and get away from her thoughts._

_“Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want to mess with your run.”_

_“You won’t,” he said. “Anyway, you need someone to protect all the other runners from your distraction.”_

_She laughed. “Are you up to the challenge?”_

_“I think I can handle it.”_

_“I’ll race you to the coffee shop down the street,” she said with a smile._

_“On the count of three,” he said, “I, 2, 3.”_

_They took off running down the street. Claire pushed herself to go as fast as she could, it had been awhile since she had gone running, but she wanted to beat him. She was a few steps ahead of him when they got to the store. They both took a few minutes to catch their breath after the sprint down the street._

_“Impressive,” he said._

_“I think what you mean to say is I beat you.”_

_“I have to say I wasn’t expecting you to be so fast.”_

_“I ran track in school. It was a great stress reliever and helped me with scholarships.”_

_“So, you cheated?”_

_“I did not,” she said incredulously._

_“You withheld information, that’s the same as cheating.”_

_“No, it’s not,” she started to argue when he took off running down the street, giving himself a head start. She started to run after him, laughing._

That day had been the start of them running together. At first it was only after one of them had a rough day, but eventually they just agreed to meet either before or after work to run together. They didn’t race each other often, but when they did, she had to be careful with Neil because he liked to trick her so that he could get ahead.

Their relationship had grown into a strong friendship that was very important to her. Occasionally, she felt herself questioning her feelings for him, wondering if what she felt was more than just friendship. She had become an expert in pushing those thoughts away. She didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their relationship at the hospital or outside the hospital. It was better to keep things the way they were. Although she did think about possibly talking it over with her therapist later that night.

Her phone vibrated with a text message and she couldn’t help but smile when she saw it was Neil. She hadn’t seen him much during the day as she was assigned to work with Dr. Lim, while he was with Morgan and Shaun. Instead of texting him back, she called him.

“Hey,” he answered.

“You really want to go bowling?”

“Why not?”

“I’m not very good at it,” she admitted.

“Even more reason to go,” he laughed. “It will be nice to see something you’re not excellent at.”

She rolled her eyes, “Fine, but I get to pick next time we go out.”

“Deal.”

They arranged to meet at the bowling alley in an hour. Claire felt nervous for the first time going to spend time with him. She almost felt like it was a date. Again, she pushed the idea away. Neil was her friend and that was all he wanted to be. As she got ready, she thought about how she had recently started singing and playing the guitar again. He had expressed an interest in her music before, but she had never been good at performing in front of people. She had been recording some of the songs she had been singing and thought about sharing them with him. She was apprehensive about doing so. While she trusted Neil more than anyone, her singing was something very personal to her. She put the music on a flash drive and dropped it in her purse. She’d decide later if she wanted to give it to him.

When she got to the bowling alley, she saw his car already in the parking lot. She went inside and found that he had gotten them a lane. She sighed as she went up to the counter to get shoes. She couldn’t remember the last time she had bowled.

As she walked down to join him, she noticed he had already gotten them both drinks.

“I see you’re ready,” she said.

He handed her a glass of beer. “Looking forward to beating you at something,” he said with a smile.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you about how bad I am.”

He took a sip of beer. “I’m wondering if you’re just saying that, so I let my guard down.”

“I wish I was.”

They got settled into the seats and shared a little about their day. She enjoyed hearing him talk about his case and what they ended up doing. She told him often, but he really was an incredible surgeon. She told him about some of the craziness in the ER.

When they were ready to start, he let her go first. She wasn’t too surprised when on her first turn she got a gutter ball and then knocked down two pins.

She shrugged as she went to sit down for his turn. “I told you I wasn’t good at this.”

“That’s just your first turn, you’ll get the hang of it.” 

Of course, he went up and got a strike.

“Show off,” she said as she switched places with him.

On the next few turns she continued to only knock down a few pins while he either got a strike or a spare.

“You do know you’re supposed to knock the pins down, right?” he teased after she rolled another gutter ball.

She shook her head. “I’m playing by golf rules, whoever has the lowest score wins.”

Laughing, he said, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” He joined her on the lane. “May I offer some pointers?”

“Of course,” she answered. 

He moved closer and gently placed his hand against her hip guiding her over a little. “You’re rolling it too far to the left. Stand here and try.”

She tried to ignore the way it felt to have his hands on her. She was used to his guidance when they were at the hospital, but this was different. After he took a step back, she took a few deep breaths and stood where he recommended. She rolled the ball and it stayed in the middle of the lane knocking down all the pins. She cheered and turned around and gave him a hug.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile.

He laughed at her excitement. “I’m still winning,” he said taking his turn and getting another strike.

“So that’s why you didn’t help me earlier, you’re afraid I’ll get better than you.”

“I think that’s going to take awhile to make that happen,” he grinned.

They continued to play a few more games. He offered more suggestions on how she could do better. She enjoyed the ones where he would place his hands against her to help guide her. He always asked first before he touched her. He won each game by a lot, but towards the end she was at least gaining a little ground. 

As they returned their shoes, she told him, “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe we can do it again.”

Smiling, he said, “I think we’re going to have to make it a regular thing to get you some practice.”

“I got better,” she laughed.

“You did.”

As they walked out to their cars, Claire couldn’t help but feel like this could’ve been a date. And even though she knew it was just two friends hanging out together, she wouldn’t have minded it being more.

When they got to her car, she hesitated a second before reaching into her purse and pulling out the flash drive. She handed it to him, and he glanced down at it obviously confused.

“I’ve been singing again,” she said softly. “I taped some of the songs, and you mentioned before that you wanted to hear, but you don’t have to listen to it.”

“Claire,” he said, taking her hand. “I would love to listen to it. I’m honored that you want to share this with me. Thank you.”

The nerves from earlier were back as he placed the flash drive in his pocket. The last person who had heard her sing and play the guitar had been Kayla.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as she opened her car door. “Text me to let me know you got home.”

“I’m not going straight home. I have an appointment with my therapist first.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, his concern clear in his eyes.

“I’m fine,” she answered. “Just a regular session.”

“Okay, text me when you do get home. Even if it’s late.”

“I will,” she said with a smile. “Let me know when you get home too.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

On the drive to her therapist, she thought about the way she felt at the bowling alley and how comfortable she felt when she was with Neil. How he teased her about her lack of bowling ability but never in a way that made her feel bad about it. How he offered his support and suggestions but only if she wanted them. She realized that was how he always was, willing to be there for her if she needed him but never pushing her. 

All the feelings she had been trying to push down came rushing to the surface. And for the first time she allowed herself to realize how her feelings had changed for him. She didn’t want to just be his friend, she had fallen for him and it terrified her. He was her best friend. She had a horrible track record with relationships and was scared that she would lose him. He just wanted to be a friend for her, and she needed to keep reminding herself of that. She thought about how easy it was to talk to him, how he would seek her out not only to check on her but also to ask her opinion on things at the hospital. She didn’t know what she should do, but she knew she had a lot to discuss tonight with her therapist. She just hoped she could give her some answers.


	4. Chapter Four

Neil sat in his car waiting to see that Claire drove off safely. He was conflicted after spending the evening with her. He had thought that it would be a good idea for them to try something different. He thought that a night of bowling wouldn’t be as intimate as going out to dinner, however, he was wrong. The evening had felt more like a date than just two friends spending time together.

As he started the drive home, he tried to pinpoint the moment where he started to want something more with her. At first, he had simply wanted to be there to support her as she dealt with the grief from losing her mother. He thought about how she had run into him a few months ago when out running and how that had started a new tradition. He had tried to limit the time that he spent with her outside the hospital because he didn’t want anyone to question their relationship or her abilities as a surgeon. She was incredibly gifted, and he never wanted anyone to think otherwise.

However, he had never expected to enjoy spending time with her outside the hospital. Other than the time he had to remove her from his service, they had always worked well together. It shouldn’t have surprised him that the same would happen during the runs. At first, they used the runs to deal with the stress of being a doctor. Eventually that turned into an almost daily occurrence. One he could admit he looked forward to each day. They began meeting for breakfast or going out to dinner after shifts.

He knew it was dangerous to be spending so much time with a resident outside of work, but he didn’t want to stop. She had become his best friend, the person he wanted to talk to every day. When she wasn’t working with him, he would search for her even if just to talk to her for a moment. He knew that he was developing feelings for her that went beyond friendship. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He pushed the thoughts away and continued to be her friend. That was what she needed and wanted.

As he entered his house, he thought about what a terrible bowler she had been. She had warned him, but he really hadn’t expected her to be quite that bad. He had offered some suggestions about what she could do to improve and could still feel the warmth of her under his touch. He thought of her laugh and her smile. He knew he was in trouble, but it was the best kind.

He poured himself some whiskey and pulled out his computer. Taking the flash drive from his pocket, he loaded the files on this computer. He knew she shy about her music and felt honored that she wished to share that with him. She had told him about her mother’s singing and how she had tried to force her to sing in front of people and she hated it. He had hoped one day Claire would feel comfortable singing for him and he figured this was the closest he would get. He felt honored that she had gone through the trouble to do this for him.

He started the first song as he took a sip of whiskey. The first notes of the guitar filled the room followed by her singing. He didn’t recognize the song but was drawn in by her voice. He couldn’t believe just how talented she was. He noticed that her voice gained in strength as the song went on. As soon as it was over, he started it over. He listened to it twice before going to the next one. The pain and emotion he could hear in her voice brought tears to his eyes. Each song seemed better than the last. As he finished his drink, his phone vibrated with a text.

He glanced down and saw that it was Claire letting him know she was home. He was surprised to see how much time had passed since he had started listening to her music. He texted her back and told her to get some rest. He hesitated before asking if she wanted to meet for breakfast the next day or meet up for dinner after shift. She responded immediately that dinner sounded good. He figured that’s what she would pick since it was late, and she enjoyed sleeping in when she could. They texted goodnight.

Neil listened to each song one more time before he went to bed. He had trouble falling asleep as he realized that the feelings he had for Claire were getting harder to ignore. Even before they had gotten closer after her mother’s death, there had always been an ease to their relationship. He didn’t want to complicate things for them, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could pretend not to care about her.

His alarm went off and he felt like hadn’t slept at all. He moved slowly going through his routine and headed to the hospital. He had to prepare himself for seeing her, now that he realized just how strong his feelings had become. He had to be careful and didn’t want her to notice.

As he walked to his office, he looked towards the lounge and saw that she was already there looking at some case files. Despite knowing that he should continue to his office, he went to see her instead. 

“Good morning,” he said, as he walked in.

She smiled up at him. “Good morning.”

“I listened to the songs last night,” he said leaning against the chair. “You’re very talented.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. He smiled as he noticed the slight blush staining her cheeks. He had never seen that reaction when he praised her work as a doctor.

“You know, it’s kind of nice that you suck a bowling.”

She fought back a smile as she glared at him. “I got better.”

“By the third game.”

“We’ll just have to go again.”

“I’d like that,” he admitted. He looked up as Shaun came into the lounge. “Good morning.”

“I have a problem,” Shaun told them, looking between them both.

“What’s wrong?” Claire asked.

“How do you make a friend fall in love with you?”

He risked a glance over to Claire, but she was looking at Shaun.

“Why do you ask that?”

“I want to make Lea fall in love with me.”

“Shaun,” Claire started. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Claire’s right,” Neil continued. “I don’t think you make someone fall in love with you, it happens gradually over time.”

As soon as he said the words, he realized that was what had happened with Claire. They had been spending time together and building their friendship that he had fallen in love with her without even noticing.

“That’s not helpful,” Shaun said before turning to leave.

Claire sighed. “He’s going to be difficult to work with until he figures that out.”

“Good luck,” he told her as she got up to leave for rounds and he went to his office.

He sank down into his chair as he thought about what he should do next. He had realized that he felt more for Claire than just friendship, but this was the first time he allowed himself to think about being in love with her. He allowed himself a moment to think about what could happen between them if he wasn’t an attending and she wasn’t his resident. He tried to push the thought away as he had before, but it kept coming back. He loved Claire and he wasn’t sure what he should do about it.

Even if he did nothing, it would still impact their relationship. Everything they did would be colored by his feelings. And if he didn’t tell her, wouldn’t he be lying to her? Before he told himself that their friendship had no baring on his ability to be her boss. Her talents were clear to everyone who worked with her. Now, he wondered if being in love with her would impact his ability to be impartial. He dismissed that thought because he knew Claire would be furious if she thought he had ever favored her due to their relationship.

He felt as if he was going around in circles as he wondered what he should do. The smartest choice would be to ask for her to be removed from his service until he got it all figured out, but that would involve him having to explain to her why. And he wasn’t ready to share his thoughts with her. The longer he allowed himself to think about this, the more he realized that he wouldn’t be able to ignore it much longer. He would slip up and reveal his feelings to her, which would most likely end their friendship.

He stood up with a sigh. He needed to talk to someone that he could trust. Normally, he would’ve gone Claire. She had a way of helping him and supporting him, but in this case telling her wouldn’t help anything. Instead he decided to go talk to Aaron. He had been his attending and mentor before he was the president of the hospital. It was risky speaking to him about this, but he needed guidance and hoped that he would be able to tell him the best way to handle the situation.

He knocked on Aaron’s door, hopeful that he would have time to speak to him.

“Come in.”

Neil walked in. “Can I talk with you for a minute?”

“Of course. Have a seat.”

He sat down trying to think of the best way to bring up what he needed to talk about.

“Is everything okay, Neil?”

“Yes,” he answered. “I just need to talk to you about something a little awkward.”

Aaron nodded. “You and Dr. Browne?”

“How did you know?”

“I’m the president of the hospital, I know everything. And I’ve known you a long time. I see the way the two of you interact with each other. How long has it been going on?”

“She was struggling after losing her mother and it started with my trying to be friend for her. We’ve been spending time together outside of the hospital, going on run together or having dinner. Last night we went bowling.”

“I’m confused,” Aaron said. “Are you here because the two of you are friends or because you’re in a relationship?”

“We’re friends,” he said firmly. “I’m beginning to think that I wish it was more.” He shook his head with a sigh. “I know I want it to be more.”

“What about Claire?”

“I haven’t said anything to her. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I am still her boss and if she doesn’t feel the same way, I don’t want her to feel pressured.”

“I’ve seen the two of you together. I honestly can’t say that I think that would be a problem.” He sighed. “But I can understand your logic.” He leaned back in his chair. “I have to say this isn’t the first time that an attending has fallen for a resident. It is the first time the attending has come to me before something actually happened.”

“Claire’s one of the most talented residents I have ever worked with and I don’t want to ruin that for her. I know the gossip and the rumors that would happen.”

“You’re in love with her,” Aaron stated.

“Yes,” he agreed unable to deny his feelings. It felt good to admit it out loud even if it wasn’t to Claire.

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t have come to me if this was just a passing fling.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“We never do.” He folded his hands on top the table. “What do you need from me?”

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “I was hoping you could tell me what to do. I’m worried that if I tell Claire how I feel that it could ruin our friendship and maybe even our careers, but I also worry that if I do nothing, I’ll regret not taking that chance.”

“Well, I am the president of the hospital so I will be able to help with the career aspect. You will have my support no matter what you decide. We would have to make some changes with her residency if you choose to explore a relationship.”

Neil felt a little better knowing that he would have Aaron’s support, but that still did not tell him what he should about telling Claire.

“Neil, I was supposed to leave tonight for a conference in Seattle. Why don’t you go in my place? It will give you a chance to think about what you want to do.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“I’ll start working on a plan if you decided that you want to explore a relationship, and if not, I’ll forget about this conversation.” 

“Thank you.”

Aaron filled him in on the conference and what the expectations for him would be. They went through and changed the reservations into Neil’s name. He wasn’t really a fan of going to this type of event where he would have to network with other doctors. He always found these events exhausting. But it would be nice to get away for a while to figure out his next steps.

He continued about his day finishing up with his patients and did not see Claire again until he was packing up to leave.

“Hey,” she said, walking into his office. “Where did you want to go for dinner tonight?”

He had completely forgotten that they had made plans to go out after work. He needed to pack and get to the airport but thought for a moment if there was a way to be able to go with her as well. Glancing at the time, he saw that he wouldn’t be able to do it.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “Aaron asked me to go to a conference this week. I have to go home and pack, the flight is in a few hours.”

He swore he saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes, and he wondered if maybe Aaron was right, and she had feelings as well.

“We’ll go when you get back,” she said. “Have a safe flight and text me when you get there, even if it’s late.”

“Thanks. I will.”

With a sigh he watched as she left. He quickly made his way home, packed for the conference and made his way to the airport with little time to spare. He knew he was making the right choice to take some time to figure everything out that would be the best for them both.

As he boarded the plane, he sent Claire a message to let her know that he was on the plane and that he planned to listen to her music on the flight. She quickly responded that he didn’t need to do that. He laughed as he pictured the face she would’ve made while reading the text. He responded that he would message her when he got to the hotel. He closed his eyes as he started listening to her songs. He knew what he felt for her was so much more than a fling and he knew he would have to decide over the next few days if he should ignore his feelings or take the risk.


	5. Chapter Five

Claire was surprised by how much she missed Neil while he was away on the conference. He had only been gone for two days. They spoke on the phone every morning and night and were texting each other throughout the day. She kept him up to date on what was going on at the hospital, and he kept her entertained with what was happening at the conference. Yet it wasn’t the same as seeing him every day.

The day after he left, she had a long conversation with her therapist and realized the extent of her feelings for him. Somewhere during their friendship, she had fallen in love with him. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to ignore these feelings anymore. At first, she had thought maybe she was just projecting these feelings because he had been so supportive. However, her therapist pointed out that she had reached out to him during one of her lowest points and that maybe something had always been there between them.

As she thought about their interactions since she started her residency, she remembered when Shaun had accused her of flirting with Neil. She still maintained that she hadn’t done it intentionally, but maybe Shaun had seen something she couldn’t at the time. Although, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to act on her feelings, since he was still her boss.

When she got to work, she went about her day and tried to think about her feelings or how different the hospital felt without him there. She was once again working with Dr. Lim and they were currently in the ER. Unfortunately, it seemed like it was going to be an uneventful day, which would make it harder to be distracted from her thoughts.

Around lunch time, she was paged to Dr. Glassman’s office. She wasn’t sure why he would want to she her and felt nervous going to his office. She didn’t think she had done anything wrong. She knocked on his door and entered when he told her to come in.

“Have a seat, Dr. Browne.”

She sat down in the chair in front of his desk. She folder her hands in her lap and sat up straight as if she was waiting for a punishment.

“You can relax, you’re not in trouble.”

She took a deep breath and tried to relax as she wondered what he wanted.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Yes, I just wanted to ask you a few questions. Off the record.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Whatever you tell me will not leave this room.”

“Okay.”

“Can you tell me about your relationship with Dr. Melendez?”

It took her a few seconds to answer him. How did he know that she had feelings for her boss? Or maybe he was just asking because he realized that they had been spending time together outside of the hospital.

“He’s my boss,” she started unsure of what more he wanted.

“Just your boss?”

“He also my friend. He has helped me a lot with dealing with losing my mom.”

“And that’s it?”

She felt uncomfortable talking to him and worried about what would happen if she was completely honest with him.

“Claire, it’s okay. I promise you’re not in trouble and I will not share your answer with anyone.”

“We’ve been spending time together outside of work,” she admitted. “Just going for runs and having dinner.” She hesitated. “Why are you asking? Do you think he’s given me special treatment?”

“No, I don’t think he has,” he leaned back in his chair. “I’ve noticed that the two of you seemed to be getting closer recently and I just wanted to hear about it from you.”

“His friendship is very important to me. I wouldn’t want to do anything to risk that or our relationship at work.”

“Do you feel your friendship outside the hospital affects your working together?”

“Honestly, no I don’t.”

“If you had to choose, would you keep working together or keep spending time together outside the hospital?” he asked.

“I don’t see why I would have to choose. Neither has been a problem.”

“Humor me,” he said softly. “If you were forced to pick, which would it be?”

She looked down and took a few moments to think about her answer. Or rather to think about the best answer to give to him. She knew without a doubt if she had to pick, she would want to still see him outside the hospital. But she wasn’t sure if that was the answer for this situation. She wasn’t sure if Dr. Glassman was just more perceptive than she realized or if someone else had said something to him. She felt as if he was trying to see if she had feelings for Neil. With a sigh, she decided that she needed to be honest. 

“I would choose to continue to see him outside the hospital.”

“Thank you,” he said. “That’s all.”

She left his office confused about their conversation. She had just started to come to terms with the fact that she was in love with Neil. Why was she getting questions from the president of the hospital? She went through the rest of the day in a blur, grateful that there were no major emergencies that they had to deal with.

Once she got home, she poured herself a glass of wine and called Neil. She was torn between telling him all about her conversation with Dr. Glassman and pretending it never happened. If she told him, then he might realize that she wanted them to be more than just friends. 

“Hey,” he answered. “How was your day?”

“Weird,” she said.

“What happened?”

“Dr. Glassman called me into his office and started asking me questions about our relationship. I told him we were friends.” She left out the part where he had asked about who she would do if she had to choose their professional or personal relationship.

He was quiet for a while, and she regretted telling him anything. She thought for a moment that the call had been dropped, when he finally spoke.

“That’s my fault,” he said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“I wasn’t completely honest with you about the conference. I spoke to Aaron about us and he suggested that I come here in his place.”

“What about us?”

He sighed. “I’ll be back in two days. I think this would be a better conversation face to face.”

She bit her lip to keep from crying. He had gone to Dr. Glassman because he had realized she had feelings for him and he didn’t reciprocate. She shouldn’t have been honest earlier. Neil was going to want to end their friendship.

“Can I call you right back?”

“Of course.”

She took a few large sips of wine and a few deep breaths trying to figure out what to do. She was tempted to call her therapist to ask for advice. What would she do if Neil wanted them to just be professional? After a few minutes, when she knew she wouldn’t get upset. She called him back through the video chat. He answered right away.

“This isn’t what I meant by face to face.”

She hadn’t seen him for a few days, and she noticed that he looked exhausted. She wanted to ask him if he was okay but needed to first figure out what he wanted.

“I thought it would be better to talk now then to wait.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

“Why did you go talk to Dr. Glassman? If you wanted to end our friendship, why didn’t you just come talk to me?”

Even through the phone, she could see his confusion.

“End our friendship? Why do you think that’s what I want?”

“You said you spoke to him and then he sent you on this conference. I figured you wanted to get away from me.”

He shook his head. “That’s not why I went to Aaron?”

She moved to sit down on her sofa and reached for her glass of wine. “Then why?” she asked.

“Do you remember our conversation with Shaun? When he asked how you make someone fall in love with you?”

“Yes, you told him it was something that happened gradually over time.” She wasn’t sure what that had to do with him going to speak to Dr. Glassman. 

“I went to Aaron because I realized that had happened to me.”

Confused, she asked, “With Dr. Lim?”

“No,” he sighed. “With you.”

“Me?” she asked. 

She couldn’t believe that he felt the same way about her that she did him.

“I went to Aaron because I know this complicates things and that’s the last thing, I wanted to do to you. He suggested that I come to this conference for a few days to think about what to do next.”

She thought back to the questions that Dr. Glassman had asked her and realized that he had been trying to figure out if she felt he same way about Neil that he did about her.

She shook her head. “That makes so much more sense. He wanted to know if I felt the same way.”

“Do you?” he asked softly.

“He asked me if I had to choose between working with you or spending time with you outside the hospital what would I do.”

“What did you say?”

“Of course, I picked outside the hospital.” She took a drink. “You are a brilliant teacher and I’ve learned so much from you, but I really like our relationship outside of work.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’ve enjoyed teaching you, but I would pick the same.”

She leaned back against the sofa. “I thought he realized that I had feelings for you and that he was trying to figure out if that was going to affect work.”

“When I went to talk to him, he thought we were already in a relationship.”

“Bowling did feel like a date.”

He laughed. “I thought so too.”

“I’ve wanted more than just friendship with you for a while,” she admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I was afraid to mess up our friendship. You mean a lot to me, Neil. I thought just being friends would be better than nothing.”

“That’s what I thought too.” He shook his head. “We’re both idiots.”

“I don’t think so. We both know how special this is.”

“I’m willing to take the chance if you are.”

“I’m scared. What if I hurt you?”

“What if you don’t? We won’t know unless we try. But it’s up to you.”

“I want to try,” she said softly.

“Me too,” he said with a smile. “I wish we had done this in person.”

“Why what would you do?”

“You’re the one who insisted we do this now, you’ll just have to wait until I get back.”

“I can’t wait.”

“I’ll be home in two days. I’ll have to stop by the hospital first to give Aaron an update on what happened at the conference, but I’ll stop by your place afterwards. Are you still off for the day?”

“Yes, I’ll be here,” she felt the butterflies in her stomach as she thought about the change in their relationship. “What are you going to tell him about us?”

“That we want to give a relationship a try.”

“Good.”

They talked for a little while longer as he asked her more about her conversation with Dr. Glassman and he told her about his day at the conference. She was exited about what would happen when he got home in two days.


	6. Chapter Six

Over the rest of the conference, Neil continued to text with Claire and was anxious to get home and see her. Part of him was frustrated that Aaron had taken the steps to ask her about their relationship but he was also relieved because he forced them both to admit that they wanted more than just a friendship. He could still picture her face as she had asked him about wanting to end their friendship. That was the last thing that he would ever want to do. 

The rest of the conference seemed to drag even more than the first two days as he wanted it to be over. At least the first few days had been more educational; the rest was more of the networking that he hated. Finally, it was time for him to take his flight home. He texted with Claire and kept her updated about his progress. He was tempted to go see her first but knew that he needed to fill Aaron in on the conference. They both had the day off, so he would have plenty of time to spend with her afterwards.

When he got to the hospital mid-afternoon, he went straight to Aaron’s office. He knocked and entered when called in. He was surprised to find that Marcus and Audrey were already in the office.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I can come back later.”

“No,” Aaron said. “We’re glad you’re here. I filled them in on the change of your relationship with Claire.”

He sighed, he as he went to sit down. He hadn’t even had a chance to really talk to Claire about what they wanted to do, and it was already common knowledge with the others.

“That wasn’t necessary,” Neil said. “Claire and I are still figuring that out.”

“I told you I would work on a plan,” Aaron continued. “Part of that plan is keeping all the attendings in the loop as we figure out the best way to handle this.”

“I honestly thought you two were already together,” Marcus shrugged. “I think having her spend more time working with me or Audrey, should help with the situation.”

“I agree, but you both still have to be careful,” Audrey said. “You know this is going to be more difficult for Claire than for you. People are going to question if she got special treatment because of your relationship.” She held up her hand. “Before you get upset, I’m aware of the fact that Claire is incredibly talented and earned her way to the top of the residents. But you must know that others aren’t going to see it that way. They will see woman who is in a relationship with a person in a position of power.”

“Which is why, we were discussing how to help prevent that,” Aaron said. “We can’t stop everyone from gossiping, but we can do our best to make it obvious that they was nothing going on while you were her boss. Starting today, she will no longer be on your service and will report solely to Audrey or Marcus.”

“Don’t you think Claire should be here for a discussion about her future?” Neil asked.

“Unfortunately, she won’t have much of a choice in this,” Aaron continued. “This is what we need to put in place. It probably would’ve needed to happen even if you two agreed not to explore a relationship.”

Marcus and Audrey left leaving him alone with Aaron. 

“I do appreciate your support, Aaron, but I really wish you had spoken to Claire and I before moving forward. We’ve barely even talked about what this change means for us.”

“Neil,” Aaron sighed. “You came to me and told me that you were in love with a resident. I spoke with Claire the other day and got the impression that she feels the same way. The sooner we get this under control, the less likely there will be an issue, especially with HR.”

“You’re right.” He was still frustrated that all of this happened without their input, but he knew Aaron was looking out for them. He stood ready to leave.

“By the way, “ Aaron continued. “You need to stop by HR on your way out. Claire will need to stop by tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” he sighed.

Annoyed that he was once again delayed from going to see Claire and that Aaron hadn’t even asked about the conference, he headed down to HR. He pulled out his phone to give Claire a head’s up on the conversation that he had with Aaron. He told her that he would be there as soon as he was done with HR.

Unfortunately, since this was the third time he had to go to HR to declare a relationship with a colleague, he knew exactly what to expect. He was honest and shared about their relationship and how it had progressed naturally. He had never intended to fall in love with her, but since it happened, he would do what was necessary in order to make things successful at work. After answering all their questions, he was told that while they disproved of the relationship there was nothing, they could do to stop it. However, they would be keeping an eye on them both and if there were any complaints then they would have to reevaluate. Claire was to see them in the morning. As he left, the HR representative told him she hoped that his would be the last time she saw him. 

Finally, free from the hospital, Neil texted Claire that he was on his way and headed over to her apartment. He felt a buzz of excitement, anticipation and nervousness. He was so close to getting what he had been wanting for weeks.

He knocked on the door and waited for Claire to let him in. As she opened the door, he was reminded of just how beautiful she was. He had missed her the last few days and the video chat was not enough. She motioned for him to come in. He slipped his shoes off by the door and followed her into the living room where they both sat down on the sofa. 

“I got my phone call that I have to go to HR tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “I had no idea Aaron was going to move so quickly.” He filled her in on the plan for to work with the others and how it went at HR for him.

“It’s a shame. We haven’t even kissed yet and everyone already knows we’re together.”

“Not everyone.”

“That place is worse than high school. You know someone overheard something. And once I go to HR tomorrow after you went today, the rumors will start.”

He knew she was right. Gossip spread quickly at the hospital. 

“I mean what if we do kiss and then decide that we don’t want to try a relationship.”

“You think it’s going to be bad?”

She shrugged. “Anything is possible.”

He moved closer to her on the sofa. “That won’t happen.”

“You’re awfully confident. “

He reached out and brought his hand against her face. He had been dreaming about this moment for longer than he wanted to admit. He slowly closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against hers. She quickly deepened the kiss, pulling his even closer. It was better than he had imagined. He pulled away slightly and saw the smile on her face.

“Not bad,” she said breathing heavily. “But a little more practice wouldn’t hurt.”

“I’d practice forever with you,” he said as he kissed her again.

He laid back on the sofa pulling her with him. She laid on top of him and continued to kiss him. Eventually she moved to rest her head against his chest. He brought hand up and caressed her arm.

“I’ve wanted to that for a while,” she admitted.

“Me too,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

They stayed like that for a while content to be in each other’s arms. Every once in a while, they would find themselves kissing each other as they got comfortable with each other. Now that he knew what he felt like to have her in his arms, he knew there would be no going back for him. They talked some about the changes that would happen at the hospital and what reactions the other residents would have. He could tell that she was nervous about everyone knowing their relationship status. He was just happy that he no longer had to pretend not to be in love with her.

Eventually, they moved off the sofa and ordered dinner. Claire had always told him that she hated to cook. He wondered if she would mind if he cooked for her. After they ate, the moved back to the sofa and she immediately moved back into his arms.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked softly.

He smiled at her. “How happy I am right now.”

“Me too.”

So much had change in short time, but as he thought back to the day she called him to pick her up from the bar, he felt that maybe they were always leading down this path. He knew no matter what, he would always be there for her. The exhaustion from traveling, dealing with the conference and the emotions of the change in their relationship, caught up to him as he yawned. 

She sat up, and he already missed having her beside him. “Are you okay?”

“It’s been a long week,” he admitted. 

“Hard to believe it was just a few days ago we were bowling.”

“I really wanted to kiss you that night.”

“Why didn’t you?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to push you into anything you didn’t want.”

“I want you,” she said. “Don’t ever doubt that.”

He kissed her, pulling away as he fought another yawn.

“It’s not a good sign, if you’re already bored of me,” she teased.

“Never. Just exhausted.”

“Why don’t you stay here tonight? Unless you’d rather be in your own bed after being at the hotel.”

He reached out and cupped her cheek. “I’m happy here with you.”

She placed her hand on top of his. “I’m glad.”

He quickly went out to his car to grab his suitcase. As they made their way to her room to keep ready for bed, he took her hand. Now that he could touch her, he never wanted to stop. She went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and he took the opportunity to look around her room. He picked up a few of the pictures and hoped that he would get to hear the stories behind them all. Once she finished, he went in to change and brush his teeth. When he came out, he found that she was already in bed. He climbed in beside her. They both laid on their side looking at each other.

“Do you snore?” she asked with smile.

“No,” he answered. “Do you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Good.”

He reached out for her and pulled her into his arms as he moved onto his back.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

She moved against him and rested her head against his chest. “Yes, are you good?”

“Perfect.” He kissed the top of her head. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she pressed a kiss to his chest.

As they drifted off to sleep, he thought about how he could get used to falling asleep like this for the rest of his life.

He startled awake when he heard her alarm going off. She groaned as she pushed away from him to turn it off. Once the alarm was off, he pulled her hand to bring her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He allowed himself to get lost in her, when her alarm went off again. He frowned as she left him embrace again.

“Back up alarm,” she said as she turned it off.

“Come here,” he sighed.

“I can’t. I have that appointment with HR before shift. I don’t think they would like if I told them you made me late.”

“You’re right.”

He stayed in bed as he watched her get ready. He could tell that she was nervous about going to HR.

“Are you okay?” he asked as she searched through her closet.

“Yes,” she answered. “Just trying to find the right outfit to wear.” She sighed as she replaced the shirt in her hand back to the closet. “What do you wear to a meeting where you have to tell a stranger that you fell in love with your boss?”

He saw the instant she realized what she had said as her hand froze over the next shirt in her closet. He got out of the bed and walked towards her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her on her cheek.

“I love you too,” he said softly. “And I don’t really think it matters what you wear.”

She turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Of course, you’d think that.” She kissed his gently. “Women have to deal with it differently. You could go in your pajamas and no one would care. I have to make sure I’m dressed professionally and conservatively or else they’ll think I seduced you.”

He knew that she was right, and that others would view her differently as news of their relationship became even more well known. He hated that she would have to deal with anything. She turned back to her closet and he stood beside her looking through what she had. He pulled out on of the shirts he remembered her wearing before.

“You look good in this one.”

“Dr. Melendez, were you checking me out?”

“Always,” he said with a smirk.

‘”Thanks,” she took the shirt from his hand and finished getting ready. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful.”

She rolled her eyes, “That’s not helpful.”

“But it’s true.” He took a moment to look at her. “You look very professional. Although you always do.” He could still see that she was nervous. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I know. It just feels so invasive. I don’t want to have to justify our relationship just because we work together.” She struggled to put on her necklace. “And I know it’s different because you’re my boss, but still.”

He stepped closer to her and took the necklace from her. He put it on for her dropping a kiss to the back of her neck.

“But it’s worth it.”

“I know.”

He asked her if she wanted anything for breakfast or some coffee, but she admitted that she was nervous and would get something after the meeting. She left to go to HR, and he went home to shower and change before heading to the hospital.

As he walked to his office, he noticed others looking at him. He realized that she was right, and everyone had figured out the change in their relationship. He sat down at his computer wondering how it had gone for her. He knew that she wouldn’t be able to come tell him because everyone would be watching their every move. He was relieved not to have any of the residents working with him today and he was able to slowly get back into the routine after a few days away. 

His day was mostly uneventful as he worked in the ER and did a few minor surgeries. He hadn’t seen much of Claire as she was working with Marcus. He did overhear a few of the nurses and other doctors talking about him and Claire. He rolled his eyes wondering why they had nothing better to do than gossip about them.

Towards the end of his shift, Marcus came to see him.

“I can see why you enjoyed working with Claire,” Marcus said as he sat down in front of his desk. “Not only is she good in the OR, but she also has excellent patient care.”

“I know,” he agreed. “She’s very talented.”

“We had this patient today who insisted he knew better than us,” he sighed. “He got his medical degree from Google.”

“Those are the worst.”

“I usually just ignore them, but Claire talked to him and got him to see why he was wrong. She never came right and told him he was wrong, just pointed out where the diagnosis he reached didn’t match all the symptoms. By the end, he finally agreed to let us do the surgery. Probably saved his life too.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“I know it’s going to rough for you two for a while, but the gossip will die down. And you have my support. Although, I do ask one favor.”

Neil sighed, “What’s that?” he asked, expecting him to ask him to switch shifts with him or something.

“There’s some bets started, and one of them is when you’re going to propose. Let me know when that is so I can win.”

“Only if I get a piece of your winnings.”

“And that’s why you have my support. You didn’t even hesitate when I mentioned proposing,” he said as he stood up. “I know you two are in it for the long haul.”

“Thanks Marcus.”

He never would’ve expected Marcus to be on his side, but he was glad that they had become friends over the years. He got a text from Claire telling him that she was ready to go and was out on the walkway. He finished up and got his things together to go meet her.

She was leaning against the railing, the wind blowing through her hair. He was once again struck by how lucky he was.

“How was your day?” he asked as he leaned against the railing next to her. He was careful not to be too close, but he did place his hand next to hers, so their fingers touched.

“Better than expected. HR was just as crazy as I expected, but it seems as long as no one complains and we maintain our professionalism, we’ll be okay.”

“That’s great,” he said.

“You’d think everyone else would be too busy to deal with us being a couple, but apparently there are quite a few bets going on.”

“I heard about one.”

“Which one?”

“When I’m asking you to marry me. Marcus asked for inside information so he could win.”

She laughed. “Why does anyone even care?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “What else did you hear?”

“There’s one about us getting caught having sex in an on-call room, but that’s never going to happen.”

“The having sex in the on-call room or the getting caught part?” he teased.

She nudged him with her shoulder. “Neither. That’s the last thing we want to happen with someone going to HR.”

“Was that the only one?”

She shook her head. “Bets about how long we’ve actually been together, how many kids we’ll have, if we’ll both stay here at the hospital, and I don’t even know what else they’ve thought of.”

“Technically, it’s only been a few days, but we could probably go back to a few weeks.”

“No, I think we should stick to when it became official.”

“Okay,” he agreed, “Glad to know our anniversary.”

“You’re going to want to celebrate it every year, aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Maybe we should pick that day to get married, so we only have to remember one date.”

“I’d be okay with that.”

Even though, they hadn’t sat down to discuss what they wanted for their future, he was glad to see that they were both thinking long term.

“Does it bother you that so many people are making bets about our relationship?” he asked.

“I’m surprised so many people care,” she answered. “But I don’t care what anyone else thinks as long as we’re happy.”

“I’m very happy.”

“Me too. Are you ready to go home?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Mine or yours?”

“I don’t care as long as you’re there.”

“Such a romantic.” As they turned to make their way to the parking lot. She reached out and took his hand entwining their fingers. “Technically, we’re off duty.”

“Now, who’s the romantic?” he asked as brought her hand up to kiss it.

He was glad that everything was out in the open and they were free to pursue the relationship that they both desired. As they walked, he realized that he had everything he needed in his hands. He had hope for their future together and knew that had so much to look forward to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. I really appreciate it!!


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